CULTURE BUMP
The 8 Step Tool
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Detach
from the culture bump
Step 1
Pinpoint The Culture Bump
Finding a Culture Bump
Recall a time when something caught your attention, when you noticed something different or when someone did something you wouldn't have done.
Then tell what your perception was—in other words, what you thought about it.
What if the bump/situation has happened multiple times?
Focus on one particular time, perhaps the first time you encountered the Bump or the last time.
Don't tell the story about the incident
Instead of telling the story of what happened, you are looking only for certain details (the person or thing you bumped with and your intial thought about the incident) that will be the starting place of your 8 Steps.
So don't talk about motivations or feelings in this step.
I had a
Culture Bump with
and
I thought that was
.
Step 2
Describe What The Other Person(s) Did
Keep it simple
Don’t tell the story. Just focus on the actions and words you can see or hear. (Or, taste or touch if in the case of an object).
What if the bump/situation has happened multiple times?
Describe exactly what you saw, heard, touched, or smelled. Even though it is somewhat artificial, report exactly what happened with no interpretation.
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Descriptive Observations: crying, hands out in front of him, said “That’s cool.”
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Non-descriptive Observations: sad, nervous, rude, in an angry tone
Don’t add how you felt or your thoughts about the incident.
Don’t tell the story. Just focus on the actions and words saw, heard, touched, or smelled.
What did the other person(s) do or say? Or, in case of an object, describe it physically.
Step 3
Describe What You Did
Use descriptive language only
Describe exactly what you did—using only precise and literal descriptive language.
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Correct: I stepped backward and said, “No, thank you.”
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Incorrect: I stepped backward in fear and said nervously, “No, thank you.”
Focus on yourself
Don’t tell the story or add how you felt or your thoughts about the other person or yourself. Just focus on your actions and words.
What did I do or say?
Step 4
List The Emotions You Felt When The Bump Happened
Try to identify as many emotions as possible.
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Many times we are aware of being mad or angry but underneath we may feel a more "tender" or impactful emotion such as "fear" or "sad."
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Look for the most “tender” or impactful emotion. It typically is the last emotion you identify. (People often think, “Wow, I didn’t know I felt that.” when they name it.)
You will generally feel a “release” from the Bump when you identify all of your emotions.
Note: Some emotions may contradict one another.
Focus on yourself
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Correct: sad, honored, weary
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Incorrect: he made me..., I thought they were..., he was scared, etc.
List emotion words only
Do not describe why you felt an emotion or use words like: felt like, felt that, or felt about.
Do not use words that describe feelings or physical states.
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Correct: sad, honored, weary
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Incorrect: normal, upset, tired, hungry,
Example List of Emotions:
Surprise:
Stunned, shock, astonishment, amazement, wonder
Anger:
Fury, rageful, resentment, exasperation, indignation, irritability, annoyance,
hatred
Fear:
Anxiety, scared, nervous, concerned, wariness, panic, terror
Sadness:
Grief, hurt, sorrow, melancholy, self-pity, dejection, despair, disappointed
Enjoyment:
Happy, joy, relief, contentment, delight, satisfied, euphoria
Love:
Acceptance, trust, kindness, connectedness, adoration, infatuation
Disgust:
Contempt, disdain, scorn, aversion, distaste
Shame:
Inferior/superior, guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret,
mortification
At the time of the culture bump, the emotions that I felt were:
Discover
our commonalities
Step 5
Find The Universal Situation In The Incident When It Happened
Why do you think they did what they did?
When asking yourself "why" the other person did what they did, you are trying to identify the situation to which they were responding—not to “understand” the other person(s)’ motive.
Their action was in response to a particular situation. If you were in the same situation, you would most likely have responded differently. Here you are looking to pin point what that situation might have been.
Don't worry about trying to pick the exact "correct" situation. Just try to find a universal situation that could have led to their response and your Culture Bump.
The situation usually begins with a verb such as:
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Wanting to...
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Needing to...
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Explaining...
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Being...
Is it a Universal?
Universal Situations are something anyone from any culture could find themselves in. Here are some helpful tips:
Instead of specific people's names, change it to their role in the situation.
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Correct: ...parents are mad at their children
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Incorrect: ...They (my parents) were mad at Fred (my other brother).
You can add more details to make it specific such as:
Roles of the individuals involved, the ages, pertinent relationships, gender, or whether the situation occurred in public or in private.
More Examples
Click here to see our Universal Generator tool and get more acquainted with universal situations.
Now let's find a universal situation for your Culture Bump. It will be something that could happen to anyone from anywhere, like arriving late or feeling hungry in class or a meeting.
Find the universal situation in this incident. (What is the situation that they were responding to?)
Step 6
List And Describe Specific Actions You Would Do In The Universal Situation From Step 5
Use descriptive language
Try to make the behavior as precise and vivid as possible—Add as many details as you can recall.
Don’t focus on why you did anything in this step.
There may be more than one pattern of behavior
Often we learn behaviors from family, teachers, personal experiences, or our own personalities which may mean that what you would do might be different from your community at large, or that there are several possible responses to this same situation.
Image yourself in that exact situation
If you cannot remember being in the exact situation, imagine what you would do if you ever found yourself in a similar position. Or you might think of what someone from your "group" would do in that situation.
List and describe specific actions you would do in the universal situation from Step 5.
Step 7
List The Qualities That You Feel That Action Demonstrates
Remember in Step 1, when you said "I thought that was...(rude, silly, nice, etc)." You were associating an action someone did with a quality. This is similar. You associate the actions above in step six with certain qualities. When your brain sees someone doing those actions, it thinks (often subconsciously) "Oh they are being...(considerate, wise, etc)."
Imagine yourself in that situation or that you are watching someone doing the actions you listed in Step 6, and then ask yourself, "What kind of person acts or speaks that way?"
Do not use the word normal. ("They're being normal.") Look deeper to find the specific qualities that make the action "feel" normal.
Try to pick the exact quality instead of merely stating “NOT....”
Here is a list of a few of the millions of human qualities. Notice that qualities can be positive or negative.
Selfless Selfish
Thoughtful Thoughtless/Shallow
Cautious Reckless
Caring, Concerned Inconsiderate
Successful Failing
Competent Incompetent
Modest Show-off
Loving Hateful
Cool Dorky
Considerate Mean
Forthright Sneaky/secretive
Empowering Discouraging
Collaborative Obstructive
Authentic Insincere
Finding Qualities
Avoid using normal or “not"
More Examples
Click here to see our Universal Generator tool and get more acquainted with universal qualities.
When people in my culture (or group) do the actions I listed in Step 6, I say they are being:
Reconnect
beyond the culture bump
Step 8
Ask or think about how those qualities are demonstrated by other people (or how other people respond to those situations)
How does the other person(s) you had the culture bump with express the qualities you listed in Step 7? (If you do not know, consider starting a conversation with a question like, "How do you like to show (a quality from Step 7)?"
Info
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